Kids and Grandmother Fish

Kids loved even this early draft of  Grandmother Fish.

Macmillan is picking up Grandmother Fish for a second edition in September, and Karen and I are ecstatic. We’ll reach a lot more kids, and we won’t have to do the packaging, shipping, and marketing. This deal is really quite a milestone for us, and it’s a joy to bring the miraculous story of evolution to lots of little kids. Last year at this time, I was really excited by the response that the book had gotten from parents and educators. Now I’m even more excited because I’ve seen and heard how children respond to Grandmother Fish. 

Before finishing the book, we had lots of people read sketchy versions to children, and the results seemed promising. We even saw the “light go on” when a girl, having the story read to her by her mother, saw Grandmother Human and realized that the story was about her. The only test that counts, however, is when parents are reading the finished book to their children. Now that we have self-published the book, we have heard from plenty of parents about how kids in their own homes respond to it, now complete with all of Karen’s lovely art. The verdict? Kids love Grandmother Fish. Lots of parents tell me that this book is their children’s favorite book, or even that their kids want the story read to them every night. 

A professional editor said she was surprised that both her 3-year old and her 6-year old loved it. One 4-year old has memorized the book and now “reads” it to his dad, something he’s never done with any other book. 

For an older girl, it’s the first book she was motivated to read (actually read) by herself. 

One 2-year old delights in telling people “I AM A HUMAN!” She belts out that phrase at the store or over the phone—wherever she finds a listener. 

A 4-year old reportedly asked his parents, “What do you think we’ll evolve into?” His dad told me that the question made his heart and his wife’s heart “sing a little.” 

One father, an author I greatly respect, sent me a video of his little girl struggling to read the “cuddle” page. Then, in a heart-melting comment, she says she wants to put the book in her “beauty drawer,” where she keeps beautiful things forever. 

A blogger and mother of two boys with autism says Grandmother Fish is great for her kids. 

Lots of parents also tell me that kids love studying the phylogenetic tree in the back, a great feature that Karen encouraged me to add to the book. 

It’s been tremendously gratifying to hear all these stories. As near as I can tell, the book really seems to connect to kids. Wiggling like a fish is a lot of fun, but I think what really appeals is that the story grounds the child in the family of living things. When a 2-year old announces to strangers “I AM A HUMAN,” she’s saying “I see where I fit in.” I would say that reaching kids this way is a dream come true, but honestly I never dreamed that children would respond so deeply to Grandmother Fish. Karen and I can’t wait until the second edition releases in September. Then we’ll all really see what the reaction is like. 

2016

Description of first PNW gathering

Oasis Coming to Seattle

Oasis is a secular community that started in Houston, spread to Kansas City, and is now opening chapters across the US. Founders from Houston and Kansas City came to the Pacific Northwest to support locals who are interested in opening a chapter here, and I was curious enough to attend the first gathering. A group of mostly ex-Mormons, connected over the Internet, is providing the core of interested people bringing Oasis here. It’s similar to Sunday Assembly, although with weekly gatherings, less singing, and better childcare. Overall, I liked what I saw, and I recommend folks check it out. 

Oasis meets weekly, which is great if it works. Folks are not expected to attend every week, but they’ll still probably attend more often than folks attend Sunday Assembly, which meets monthly. In terms of building community, the more you meet, the better. 

Music at Oasis is provided by musical guests for attendees to listen to, as opposed to the group singing that typifies churches, Sunday Assembly, and all manner of communal gatherings back to our primordial history. Lots of secular people feel weird singing in groups, so for them Oasis is going to be more comfortable. As for me, I’m not much of a spectator, so listening to someone perform isn’t as compelling as singing in a group. I can’t really sing, but I don’t let that stop me. By not singing together, modern people are turning their backs on our universal heritage, but that’s a whole other story. 

Oasis offers childcare, although it doesn’t yet have a curriculum or formal program. They’re already ahead of the game if they provide a casual program where secular kids have fun together while their parents do something more adult. They also have their ducks in row as far as background checks and other security precautions you need when dealing with children. Kids’ programming, or at least childcare, is something that most secular groups leave out, and usually you have to go to a church to find an intergenerational community. (That’s what I do. I’m a Unitarian.) For me part of being a feminist is supporting parents and families. If a program offers no options for kids, that’s a burden for both men and women, but mostly for women. 

Like Sunday Assembly, Oasis features informative and personal talks as well as music. Talking and listening to talks is one activity that secular people have nailed. In fact, if even listening to songs is too churchy for you, the Seattle Atheist Church offers a program that’s all talk. As for Oasis, I’m happy to report that their policy is not to take their gatherings as an opportunity to carp about religion. There’s more than enough negativity in the atheist community already.

Oasis also features social events. In fact, in Kansas City the atheist group there is devoted to activism, leaving Oasis as the default place for organizing secular get-togethers and service projects. Some participants skip the services and just participate in the social and service programs. Here in Seattle, the social angle is already well covered. Seattle Atheists has a huge array of get-togethers and a few regular service projects, Sunday Assembly offers a parallel track of get-togethers, and smaller secular groups provide more options for social gatherings. Seattle Atheists has a book club, Sunday Assembly has a book club, and Oasis will probably have a book club. Seattle Atheists has game nights, so does Sunday Assembly, and I bet Oasis will, too. It sure would be great if there were an easy way for someone to see all the social options there are out there for secular people in the Seattle area.

A big question is where the gender ratio will end up at communities like Oasis. Atheists are mostly men, and church appeals disproportionately to women. So where does that leave “atheist churches”? We’ll see. Given how hostile the atheist community can be for women, I'm sure that these groups focusing on community will do better than atheist forums on the Internet. 

The information meeting was in Tacoma, but the first chapter might open in Seattle, where the largest number of interested people were from. The group is organizing a launch team to prepare for a launch in June. If you’re interested in getting involved, the Meetup group is a great place to start [http://www.meetup.com/Seattle-Oasis-Secular-Community/], and you can contact organizers there.