Saturday, December 3, 2022

Mothers’ Helper

Zoom’s whiteboard = playtime

Over the last several years, I set up weekly meetups with little kids as a way to give hard-working moms a break. Mostly they’ve been in person, and for the last couple years they’ve been online. My own kid is grown, and hanging out with kids has been a rewarding way to stay in touch with the next generation. If you’re not currently managing kids, maybe you have some spare time to hang out with a kid or two. Modern parenting puts a heavy burden on moms and dads—especially moms. For what it’s worth, here’s my experience hanging out with kids.

A younger friend of mine has two daughters, and I would truck over to their place once a week to distract and occupy the older one. The stay-at-home mom appreciated having one fewer kid to worry about, and a couple hours a week doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice on my part. The daughter is shy, but she warmed up to me, and the mom appreciated it. The real payoff was seeing the two girls have fun when they showed up at parties at my place. Since they were both used to me, they felt secure around a bunch of people they didn’t know. 

Before the pandemic, once a week I would pick up a grade-school kid from school. Mostly I hung out at the school’s playground while he played with his peers, and eventually we’d go back to his place. My big contribution was to give him some unsupervised play time with his peers, something that kids don’t get enough of these days. When school was out, we switched to me taking him to the grocery store once a week. We would walk together from his place to the store, do some shopping, and walk back. He had money to spend at his discretion, and we talked a lot about how to make good money decisions. He also got to see me struggle in the sun carrying too many groceries up the hill, an object lesson in reaping and sowing. 

During the pandemic, I met weekly with a kid in another time zone. We used Zoom’s collaborative whiteboard to draw zany adventures. The features seem designed for business, but the whiteboard works as an impromptu play space. The graphic tools let me draw myself and then pick up that drawing and move it around the whiteboard. That way, the kid could see me climb the stairs into the attic, or whatever the adventure was that day. Our adventures were mostly about me getting hurt when my parents are away and I break every safety rule. The graphic tool let me distort my image, so I could turn left and right , and when I fell down the stairs I flipped the image upside down. I could also get squished flat, which happened. We also talked about stuff, but mostly it was play. 

Some of my attempts to set up online hangouts failed to take hold. That was no fun, but it was all right. It can be hard to keep a kid’s attention in a Zoom room, so now I know to lead with a whiteboard or some other way for the kid to meaningfully collaborate with me.

Now I’m married to a mom with a kid, and I get all the reward I need helping her out. Maybe when my wife and I are empty-nesters, I’ll find some other kid to hang out with. 

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