Resources for Better Dialogues

Open Mind Platform is one of
several programs for better dialogues.

This page compiles resources for fostering better dialogue. I compiled these items to share with friends, and I’m making them public because these days more and more people seem to be talking about dialogue.

Books

The first two are highly recommended in general, and the third is great specifically for the issue of how to deal with “high conflict” (usually about politics, religion, or identity).

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Game-changing. Even just reading the chapter titles helps you think better about conversations. An important point is that you and the person you disagree with should agree on a shared goal for the conversation you’re having, such as understanding each other better.

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion, by Jonathan Haidt
Eye-opening. We think mostly with our feelings, conservatives and liberals feel differently, and our differences are heightened when they fall along differences of group identity. An important point is that adversarial positioning, such as in a debate, makes it harder for people to be open-minded. See also Open Mind Platform, below.

High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, by Amanda Ripley
A close look at conflicts as they are playing out these days, including a Jewish congregation that was nearly divided over political issues. A big idea is that when you are in “high conflict”, the things that seem like the right approach, such as hosting a debate or referendum, usually make things worse. 

Online Resources
Two online programs that I’m familiar with.

Open Mind Platform
This program puts into practice the theories developed by Jonathan Haidt and others. The solo introductory program is worth doing on its own. The program features guidelines for various sorts of communities, such as congregations. 
https://openmindplatform.org

Braver Angels
This program brings together people with differing views and fosters dialogue in a variety of formats. I’ve done one of their forums, and their structure works well. 
https://braverangels.org

Previous Dialogs
Here are recordings of a few moderated dialogues that I’ve participated in.

Christianity: Good and Bad
A “better debate” hosted by Seattle Atheists. I moderated this one.
https://youtu.be/3AoG5gIt6uI

Religion: Good and Bad
Another “better debate” among atheists, this time with me as a participant. 
https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/seattle-atheists-podcast-596599/episodes/valerie-tarico-and-jonathan-tw-24102396

White Privilege
A Unitarian-Universalist future minister (Justin Almeida) talks with an ex-UU friend of mine, with me as the moderator. Both interlocutors said that they felt heard. How often does that happen in a conversation like this? 
https://youtu.be/wboY_DPR6v4

Foot Poll
One way to get a group of people to share their opinions without a few voices dominating the discussion is to conduct a “foot poll” or a “walk-and-talk”, which I blogged about back in 2015. 
https://jonathan-tweet.blogspot.com/2015/07/walk-n-talk-discussions.html

Take-Away
Dialogue between people with different perspectives can be wonderful, but usually it’s terrible. When done popcorn-style, with one speaker popping up at a time, forums and Q&A sessions get dominated by people whose desire to talk exceeds everyone else’s desire to hear them talk. Fortunately, a little structure goes a long way in helping dialogues be more productive.