Mothers’ Helper

Zoom’s whiteboard = playtime

Over the last several years, I set up weekly meetups with little kids as a way to give hard-working moms a break. Mostly they’ve been in person, and for the last couple years they’ve been online. My own kid is grown, and hanging out with kids has been a rewarding way to stay in touch with the next generation. If you’re not currently managing kids, maybe you have some spare time to hang out with a kid or two. Modern parenting puts a heavy burden on moms and dads—especially moms. For what it’s worth, here’s my experience hanging out with kids.

A younger friend of mine has two daughters, and I would truck over to their place once a week to distract and occupy the older one. The stay-at-home mom appreciated having one fewer kid to worry about, and a couple hours a week doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice on my part. The daughter is shy, but she warmed up to me, and the mom appreciated it. The real payoff was seeing the two girls have fun when they showed up at parties at my place. Since they were both used to me, they felt secure around a bunch of people they didn’t know. 

Before the pandemic, once a week I would pick up a grade-school kid from school. Mostly I hung out at the school’s playground while he played with his peers, and eventually we’d go back to his place. My big contribution was to give him some unsupervised play time with his peers, something that kids don’t get enough of these days. When school was out, we switched to me taking him to the grocery store once a week. We would walk together from his place to the store, do some shopping, and walk back. He had money to spend at his discretion, and we talked a lot about how to make good money decisions. He also got to see me struggle in the sun carrying too many groceries up the hill, an object lesson in reaping and sowing. 

During the pandemic, I met weekly with a kid in another time zone. We used Zoom’s collaborative whiteboard to draw zany adventures. The features seem designed for business, but the whiteboard works as an impromptu play space. The graphic tools let me draw myself and then pick up that drawing and move it around the whiteboard. That way, the kid could see me climb the stairs into the attic, or whatever the adventure was that day. Our adventures were mostly about me getting hurt when my parents are away and I break every safety rule. The graphic tool let me distort my image, so I could turn left and right , and when I fell down the stairs I flipped the image upside down. I could also get squished flat, which happened. We also talked about stuff, but mostly it was play. 

Some of my attempts to set up online hangouts failed to take hold. That was no fun, but it was all right. It can be hard to keep a kid’s attention in a Zoom room, so now I know to lead with a whiteboard or some other way for the kid to meaningfully collaborate with me.

Now I’m married to a mom with a kid, and I get all the reward I need helping her out. Maybe when my wife and I are empty-nesters, I’ll find some other kid to hang out with. 

Comment on Twitter

2020

medieval weekend

Ex-Nomads’ Weekend

In his book The Gifts of the Jews, historian Thomas Cahill mentions the day of rest only in passing. If this author thinks that a weekend for laborers deserves only passing mention, perhaps he’s a man more of words than of labor, and he doesn’t fully appreciate what a gift the weekend has been down through the ages. About three thousand years ago, Mediterranean Bronze Age civilization collapsed, and the Hebrews abruptly switched from nomadic herding to sedentary farming. They had no aristocracy to despise physical labor and write the rules accordingly, and these former nomads invented for themselves a day off from “civilization”. On the day of rest, even wives, slaves, and draft animals got the day off. The other nations had laws written by their ruling classes, and they preferred that laborers labor with no weekly break. Christianity and Islam both picked up the practice of the day of rest, and they spread it wide. Modern labor unions took up the cause, and now the weekend is an expected part of secular society. 

These days, ancient Hebrews catch a lot of grief for their genocidal fantasies and other indicators of unacceptable, Bronze Age bigotry. Still, it pays to also understand what they got right.

See also: Evolutionary psychology and the Fall of Genesis

2020

Unitarian University Church, Seattle

Virtual Church Gatherings

Last Sunday, my girlfriend and I attended a virtual church service and coffee hour. Churches across the nation are going virtual. They’re streaming sermons and music, and they’re hosting virtual meet ups. If you’re quarantined and looking for company, now would be a good time to check out local churches. Lots of people derive value and encouragement from the connection, and you might be one of them. 

It surprises lots of people that an atheist like me would recommend that people try out a church, but churches in the US are unusually practical as houses of worship go. Here, they serve as intergenerational community centers. In most other places in the world, places of worship occur in communities, ethnic groups, or nations that are predominantly one religion. As a result, the people who worship there don’t necessarily have a special relationship to each other. In the States, there are countless competing traditions, and one’s congregation represents a shared identity, turning it into a social hub of like-hearted individuals. Among liberal religious traditions, these social centers serve especially for Sunday school and political organizing. My childhood congregation was constantly working on issues like clean water, immigrant rights, and the Nestle boycott. 

Predictably, I might suggest that you consider a Unitarian Universalist congregation. An ex-girlfriend used to say that the UU tradition is “like religion, but only the good parts”. The UU congregation that I’ve attended for 20 years is a lot like the Lutheran congregation I was raised in, except that no supernatural beliefs are expected or taught. 

Every congregation is different, but in general there’s a real inclination toward science and away from physics-defying miracles. In last Sunday’s virtual service, the ministers addressed the topic of COVID-19 in a naturalistic way, with a bonus etymological reference to why the pandemic of 1918 was called “influenza”. Some UU congregations will doubtless feature relatively vague prayers for people to be safe, but none of our ministers are going to heal the disease over the Internet. We’re also not going to rely on supernatural protection to justify meeting in person. We like science, and we treat pandemics the way scientists tell us to treat them. Speakers in some congregations are bound to talk in more-or-less New-Agey terms about God, meaning, challenges, visualizations, mysterious workings, or everything happening for a reason. We don’t have a pope to tell everyone to think or say the same things, so each congregation is its own thing. 

And of course if you find value in a community where you share supernatural beliefs that I don’t share, more power to you.

If the idea of connecting to a “church” makes you choke the way it used to make me choke, you can find UU “fellowships”. These are often congregations whose founders didn’t want to call their communities “churches”. Alternatively, you can think of the church as an “assembly”, which is the word used by ancient Jews, including early Christians. 

Churches also do online activities for kids. I’ve taught church school on and off for years, and there’s good stuff there, so I would bet that UU churches will have worthwhile stuff for kids to do. When I teach church school, I don’t usually know which of the kids believe in the supernatural and which don’t. A lot of them don’t really know themselves. 

You can find my church’s online programs on their web site, and you can readily find others by searching online.

click here

Review of The Human Swarm by Mark W Moffett

The book I didn’t know I needed.

The Human Swarm by Mark W Moffett is the book I didn’t know I needed. It covers a topic that’s been missing from the discussion of human society, and the perspective it offers fills gaps in what I’ve learned from other books. Moffett covers the topic of anonymous societies—animal groups in which other animals are identified as “members” even by individuals that don’t know them personally. An Argentine ant, for example, can be accepted by other Argentine ants of its super-colony even hundreds of miles away from its origin, using scent as a marker of belonging. Likewise, Mohawk Indians were able to identify and welcome each other even when they didn’t know each other, thanks to their distinctive hairstyles. Moffett identifies a sort of social organization that is highly unusual in the animal kingdom. A more common arrangement is a flock, herd, or nesting colony, where individuals that don’t know each other get along, and that’s because no individuals are excluded. In intimate bands or families, by contrast, only individuals who know each other are welcome. For a small number of animal species, however, a society consists of individuals that can identify each other as “compatriots” without knowing each other personally. This social organization is found among Argentine ants, scrub jays, and humans.

It’s no coincidence that Moffett’s mentor was E O Wilson, the ant expert who revolutionized our understanding of human nature with his book Sociobiology (1975). It’s humbling and exhilarating how much we can learn about human society by comparing and contrasting ourselves to ants. For my purposes, Moffett’s description of Argentine ants was worth the price of the book. Unlike other ant species, Argentine ants form super-colonies with multiple queens. In Argentina, these super-colonies are kept in check by only one thing: other super-colonies of Argentine ants. In California, where the Argentines are an invasive species, they spread almost without limit. Again, their only limit is another super-colony, which is invasive itself. The comparison to humans is elementary.

E O Wilson hugging Grandmother Fish
h/t Greg Epstein

One of the revolutionary findings of contemporary psychology is that humans are “groupish”, as Jonathan Haidt puts it in his seminal book The Righteous Mind (2012). Freud taught that humans are inherently selfish, but intellectuals of his day had no clear understanding of human evolution or prehistory. Now we understand that humans are innately social, a trait that we can trace back tens of millions of years to our early simian ancestors. Morality, as modern researchers contend, is an adaptation that helps us get along in groups of our peers. Moffett’s insights help us see this “tribalism” on the scale of anonymous societies. Sure, it’s easy to understand why people prefer their friends and kin over strangers, but this book illuminates the human practice of preferring people we don’t know provided they have the right hair styles, modes of dress, manner of speech, or other societal markers. This book unifies Haidt’s modern-day insights, the globe-spanning analysis of Francis Fukuyama’s The Origins of Political Order (2011), and other big-picture books about the nature of human society and the human animal.

The Human Swarm does an admirable job of surveying the topic on all levels: ants that are more or less specialized, spiders that impersonate ants to predate them, chimpanzee bands with their distinctive pant-hoots, bands of humans who know each other as kin, groups of human bands that cooperate across societal boundaries, groups of human bands that split to create new boundaries, and today’s bewildering mix of human populations. This book is worth your time just for the information about whales and scrub jays. Moffett knows that he is filling in the blanks left by previous ethologists and anthropologists, and this book is a treasury of both big ideas and delightful details. Perhaps the most important information for understanding human societies is the material on non-state societies and the bands that compose them. Here we see the many ways that humans have marked membership in their societies and the xenophobia toward outsiders that was the default perspective.

Disclosure: E O Wilson is a fan of my children’s book, Grandmother Fish, so any friend of his is a friend of mine.

Resources for Studying The Righteous Mind

The book I recommend the most. 

Jonathan Haidt’s book The Righteous Mind is the book I recommend the most. It has changed the way I understand political conflict. Irrational behavior that used to baffle me, such as denying evolution or thinking Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11, now makes perfect sense to me. Haidt shows how political and religious conflicts are grounded in evolved, moral feelings. These feelings provide us with moral judgments, for which we then invent justifications so plausible that we believe them ourselves. This analysis informs the moderated dialogs that a friend and I have been running in Seattle for years. Now at my Unitarian church, I’m running a book discussion group on The Righteous Mind, and I’ve collected links to a few good, online resources for anyone who wants to understand what Haidt is saying here. 

Bill Moyer and Jonathan Haidt

This is reportedly the best video to get an overview of the book and to see what Haidt looks and sounds like. 50 minutes, video. Link. 

Jonathan Haidt and the On Being Project

Good introduction, with extra emphasis on religion and Judaism. 50 minutes, audio. Link.

Figures and images
The figures and images from the book. You can pick up a lot just by reviewing them. Link.

YourMorals.Org research site

Learn about your moral feelings while helping researchers calibrate their tests. This site let me create a group just for people in my church, so we can each see how we compare to others in the church who took the same test. You can spend hours here. Link.

The OpenMind platform

This online program helps you coordinate productive conversations within your organization. The introductory tutorial and interactive quizzes are eye-opening even if you never use this platform with a group. The introductory exercises take less than 90 minutes. Link. 

Fan page

A fellow Unitarian-Universalist wrote up his notes on the book, with a fun chimp-bee graphic. Link.

Link to more resources

A whole page of links to talks or videos that cover the topics in The Righteous Mind. Link. 

Darwin Day: A Holiday for Us

A good evolution book
available used for under $10

Evolution is a powerful idea for us secular folks. Back in 2013, when I would tell people that I had a plan for a children’s book on evolution, their eyes would light up. Their reflexive enthusiasm told me that I should take my book to Kickstarter, and the following year Karen and I raised over $30,000 for Grandmother Fish. Secular adults like seeing evolution as a kids’ book because it is our origin story. There are few things that secular people have in common, and evolution is one of those things. Secular people don’t want to rally around a flag or recite a creed, but evolution is an origin story that includes everyone. It’s universal, not parochial. Karen and I knew that parents would like Grandmother Fish, and once the book was published we could see that kids love it, too. Kids love animals, they love families, and they love seeing where they fit in the family of animals. The power of evolutionary thinking, especially for kids, means that Darwin Day has a lot of potential for exciting the imagination. I’d love to see Darwin Day celebrations catch on around the world. 

Those of us who are enthusiastic about evolution are lucky in that our “patron saint”, Charles Darwin, was someone worth emulating. Darwin was already a famous, widely read naturalist before he proposed the theory of natural selection. As a scientist, he observed closely and wrote cogently. He had found through experience that he was more likely to forget a fact if it was a fact he didn’t like. After noticing this pattern, he made special note of facts that he didn’t like. Darwin’s encounters with people from far and wide showed him that people are more alike than different, and his critics thought that his theory made him irrationally soft-hearted toward “primitive” people. We could use more people like Charles Darwin.

Darwin Day works great as a kid-friendly celebration. Kids love animals, especially dinosaurs, and the connection to evolution is clear. Bringing kids to a Darwin Day event makes sense in evolutionary terms. The relationship between parents and children is central to natural selection. Evolution is about whose DNA gets spread into the upcoming generations, and parental care has been central to the success of mammals, not to mention birds, scorpions, lobsters, wasps, and octopuses. By bringing a kid to the event, you’re parenting, or, if it’s someone else’s kid, alloparenting. Most of the activities I have run are for kids, such as the Charles Darwin Dance, but some are for adults. 

Darwin Day traditions, I propose, should include buying evolution-themed books for children, teachers, schools, or libraries. May I recommend Evolution: The Story of Life by Douglas Palmer? It’s a big, weighty book full of color illustrations, and you can get it used for under $10, including shipping within the US. For little kids, this book has tons of illustrations with countless unusual creatures. For older kids, it has lots of handy science information. It helped me with Grandmother Fish, with Clades, and especially with Clades Prehistoric. For adults, the book is a monumental reminder of mortality. In spread after spread, you see animals that were successful in their day but that went extinct long ago. If instead of a book you want to give an evolution game, that works for me, too. 

I hope you can find a Darwin Day event near you. Here in Seattle we’re lucky to have a kid-friendly Darwin Day celebration on February 9th, with The Reptile Guy to put on a show that sounds amazing. If you don’t have a Darwin Day celebration in your area, maybe talk to some people about starting one next year. 

Seattle’s Darwin Day, hosted by Seattle Atheist/Agnostics

Saturday, February 9, 2019

2:00 to 6:00, show starts at 3:00

The 2100 Building

2100 24th Ave S, Seattle, WA

Donations warmly accepted. 

My evolution activities for kids and adults, including the Charles Darwin Dance. 

http://www.grandmotherfish.com/resources/

Honest Debate: Religion, Good and Bad

Valerie Tarico tackles the intersection between
religious belief, psychology, and politics.

Atheists love to talk about religion, usually to criticize it. Here are two atheists, Valerie Tarico and me, debating whether religion is mostly good or mostly bad. The debate is the fifth in our series, using a format that prevents the debaters from talking past each other. The debaters also field a question from Daniel Dennett.

Podcast (iTunes)

http://bit.ly/podcastReligionTaricoTweet

After the debate, an atheist from the audience asked me if I really believed the positive things I was saying about religion. He also told me that I had made him think. He told me that twice. The debate format is designed to circumvent the human predisposition to block out what “the enemy” is saying. Most debates make people feel more sure of their own position, and we’re trying to do better than that. 

The moderator and I also run moderated one-on-one dialogs between people who disagree on political issues. The dialog uses the same “summarize in a sentence” structure that you see in this debate. 

I’d love to get feedback on the debate, especially the format, but also the content.

Valerie’s blog post

Valerie talks about how she “played the gender card” in our debate, as part of her blog post about #MeToo. Link to her post, January 15, 2018.

Participants (besides me)

“Bad” Side: Valerie Tarico, a psychologist and writer.

Moderator: Brandon Hendrickson, an educator and school founder.

Guest Interrogator: Miles Greb, a comic publisher.

Guest Interrogator: Jeff Haley, co-author of Sharing Reality: How to Bring Secularism and Science to an Evolving Religious World.

Guest Interrogator (via email): Daniel Dennett, who promotes the discussion techniques that these debates are based on. 

MC: George Juillerat

2017

Kate Willich’s Dance Church

Dance Church, Seattle

Secular communities are a pet interest of mine, and my latest discovery is Dance Church, which operates here in Seattle and now in Portland, too. In Seattle, the talented Kate Willich leads people of all ability levels through synchronized dance in a large group, as she has been doing for seven years. The group started as a movement class, but her students soon enough told her that the community she was leading is a church, and she embraced that terminology. The way the “church” concept bubbled up from a secular dance class reminds me of the way that a spiritual “Temple” bubbled up out of the profane Burning Man festival. Dancing together makes you feel connected to other people the way that talking just can’t match. If my Unitarian church featured more dancing, that would be fine by me.

Before we humans could talk about world politics over coffee and share gossip over the fence, we danced together. Walking is something that we humans have to learn, but we are programmed to learn it. It’s the same with dancing. Toddlers are desperate to learn to walk, and adults love to dance. To be fair, not every last person on the face of the planet over the last hundred thousand years has loved to dance, and not every toddler has learned to walk. It’s just the norm, the behavior that the human genome is adapted to. Today, not loving to dance seems common. I know people who basically never dance. But I’m not sure we love dancing any less. What’s different is maybe not so much that we love dancing less but that we fear it more. One reason it scares us is that we don’t know how to do it, and that’s generally because we dance like no one else ever has. In primeval terms, dancing is about making music and moving rhythmically together. In most languages, there’s one word for singing and dancing. In many languages, that same word means ceremony or ritual. For our ancestors, being able to sing and dance was assumed, just like being able to walk is assumed. Dancing together is how our ancestors reminded each other that they were all equal and were all one. But today the culture has taught us that we are all individuals and that it’s shameful to do what other people are doing because that’s bowing to peer pressure. “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump off?” The obvious answer is that it depends entirely on what happened to your friends. If twelve of them are down there in the water under the bridge yelling up at you that it’s OK, then yes, jump off! Today, people are expected to dance as individuals. But not too much as individuals, because if you dance funny, people will laugh. Singers, even professionals, are not expected to write their own songs, but amateur dancers are expected to invent their own choreography, ad lib. The unmet need for dancing in synch creates dance crazes, such as the Macarena or line dancing. Dancers are so grateful to have the choreography provided for them that they flock to these popular dance styles. Predictably, the elites mock the “simple” people who like dancing and don’t like choreographing their own steps. Meanwhile, the people who dance most frequently are often those who are part of a choreographed program. They do square dancing, contra dancing, exercise dancing, or otherwise follow a caller. You don’t see those dancers at the clubs, but you see them week after week at community centers and ballrooms.

Seattle has a chapter of Jerk Church, for eating and singing together; the Seattle Atheist Church, for intellectual discussion; and Dance Church, for dancing. The big thing that any regular church has that these secular communities lack is a multigenerational community. That’s a big ask.

Find out more about Kate Willich, her Dance Church, and more at her website: http://katewallich.com/#/dance_church

For more about how deep dance and music go in the human psyche, read This Is Your Brain on Music, by Daniel Levitin. 

Sunday School for Geeky Kids

UU youth at the General Assembly

When I was a kid, Sunday school at my family’s Lutheran church was no place for me. The teachers taught material that didn’t make sense, and my hard questions weren't welcome. My geeky interests had no place, and the system was designed to get all us different kids with all our different personalities and experiences to conform to the same credo. Then, after Sunday school ended I had to attend the church service with my family, which was even worse. For instance, you weren’t allowed to kick the back of the pew in front of you, not even if you were bored as hell. Take a guess as to whether I hated and resented the whole ordeal. So you can imagine my surprise when I ended up, 30 years later, teaching Sunday school myself. What I found out is that a Unitarian church can be a pretty great place for geeky kids. My 10-year-old self would have gotten something out of it. In September, Unitarian churches all across the States are starting their Sunday school programs. Here, the kids are not subjected to the church service, hard questions are welcome in class, and each student’s own beliefs are valued. The programs help kids understand the “big ideas” rather than laying out a creed for them to sign onto. Maybe one of these programs would be a good fit for a geeky kid in your life. 

Geeky Kids. Unitarians are the only denomination in the US to edge out Jews when it comes to high SAT scores. We’re a highly educated bunch, and you can see it in the kids. They are into Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Cosmos. Here you might find kids with names like Mithril. These kids are curious, with good questions that deserve good answers. “What is a Jew?” “Why do different religions fight all the time?” 

Geeky Topics. The official curriculum includes holidays around the world, contemporary world religions, the scientific story of our world’s origins, and justice in today’s society. Questions are welcome, and conformity is not expected. One 8th-grader got us into a discussion of whether the universe is a computer program. A 4th-grader was interested in Greek myths, so she ran a class session where she presented information to the class, followed by an improvised skit where the kids acted out the story of Artemis and Actaeon. Kids like acting things out, and one 6th & 7th-grade class improvised a skit about the Six-Day War. My daughter’s class, when studying religious history, watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which I never got to watch as part of my Sunday school training. 

Modern Values. The kids start the class year by crafting a “covenant” covering the behavior that they expect of each other and of themselves. This exercise enforces the idea that social rules are up to us. The curriculum embraces pluralism and freedom of conscience. My own training in Sunday school was mostly about teaching me how to be a Lutheran, while Unitarian Sunday school is mostly about what it means to be a human in these modern days. Our 6th & 7th grade class visits houses of worship around the area: Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, etc. Eighth graders take a yearlong class in sex ed called Our Whole Lives (OWL). It’s a world-class program with no-nonsense information in the context of personal choices, confidential conversations, and intention. It’s the class where my daughter learned something that Dan Savage didn’t know, that you can’t use male and female latex condoms together. Our ninth graders finish off the whole shebang with a year-long coming-of-age program, where each adolescent is paired with an adult from the congregation who participates with them over the year’s conversations and activities. And if you want your kids to be aware of climate change, racism, gay rights, poverty, immigration, and other important issues, a UU church is a great place for them to see liberals engaged in these topics. 

Atheist UUs. Here in Seattle, there are plenty of atheists in our congregation and teaching Sunday school. The believers believe in a non-anthropomorphic God that might be identified with nature or described as ineffable. For the most part, I couldn’t tell you which of my students were atheists and which weren’t. They’re kids, so they probably don’t know exactly what they believe anyway, and we don’t force them to pick a side. For that matter, I also can’t tell which adults are atheists. Word on the street is that our head minister believes in God, but not so’s you’d notice. Some congregations, especially on the East Coast, lean more toward Deism. We don’t have a pope or creed to enforce conformity from one congregation to another. 

Multigenerational Community. When my late wife made us all start attending church almost 20 years ago, I was not into it. After a couple years, my daughter talked me into teaching Sunday school, and that’s when I connected to the community. For me it’s been rewarding to see kids grow over the years, from Sunday school, to OWL, to coming-of-age. For the last three years, I’ve been involved in the local atheist community, but none of the promising new groups are intergenerational. Now my late wife’s ashes are interred in the memorial garden, which is a service that atheist groups have a hard time matching. 

All my Unitarian posts: http://jonathan-tweet.blogspot.com/search/label/Unitarian

To find a congregation near you, visit this page: http://www.uua.org/find

2017

Dr Richard Carrier is the world’s
leading doubter of the historical Jesus.

Honest Debate Format

Update: Last Friday I debated Dr Carrier and lost decisively. Several things went wrong. Then again, several things went right. Other than that, I’m saving my commentary until the video of the debate goes up.

Friday, August 11th, I'll be debating Dr Richard Carrier, the world's leading doubter of historical Jesus. This debate is the fourth in our series, and it uses the “honest debate” format inspired by Daniel Dennett and Jonathan Haidt. Classic debates are polemical, and they date from an era when “men” thought that Reason was a divine faculty. Now we know that cognition is messy, and we understand that a productive dialog requires a better format than dueling proofs. Verbal disagreements tend to trigger tribal instincts of us-versus-them, and our debate format is designed to avoid that reaction. Here's a rundown of our event outline, with commentary. Richard and I are termed "advocates" because we each advocate a position. We're not opponents because we have a shared goal of presenting both sides clearly to the audience. A moderator runs the dialog. 

We are recording the event for publication online. 

Link to Event — August 11

Debate Format

We want to start by defining the positions Richard & Jonathan represent, so we start by polling the audience, and giving each advocate a 2-minute opening statement.

We want to show our audience where both sides agree, so we’re doing a quick Agreement Round. We quickly cover points that establish a common ground, making it easier to understand the context of each position. On an emotional level, this exchange sends a signal to everyone that this dialog is not a fight.

We want to show our audience where both sides disagree, so we’re doing a quick Disagreement Round. Again we cover points quickly, framing the scope of the debate and hitting some high points.

We then want to dig into why each advocate believes what he believes, so we’re doing a Straight Debate Round.  

• The Straight Debate Round will consist of 3 major topics.
• The Moderator asks each advocate to summarize the other advocate’s views.  (This is to help our debate stay focused; it’s even more helpful, though, to allow the audience to focus on the big points.)
• Our three topics are the mainstream narrative of Christian origins, Richard's narrative of Christian origins*, and the state of Jesus scholarship. 

We want to see how the audience is responding, so we take a halftime poll.

We want to collect audience questions, so we take an intermission and hand out index cards.

• At the beginning of the intermission, both advocates privately ask each other if they’re succeeding at keeping the tone polite and respectful.

We want to address audience questions, so we do a Q&A Round.

• Questions are submitted on cards to prevent verbally aggressive audience members from dominating air time. 
• During the Q&A Round, we’ll go extreme in re-stating the other advocate’s opinion.
• Again, the purpose of this is to help keep the debate on track — but even more it’s to model “first understand, then discuss” for people in our community. Part of why we do these debates is to improve people’s understanding of what good debate looks like.
• Specifically, here’s how it will go: 
• The Moderator reads an audience question.
• Richard will have 1 (uninterrupted) minute to answer the question.
• Jonathan will get 1 sentence to restate the gist of Richard’s answer.
• The Moderator asks Richard if Jonathan got it at least 80% right.  If so, then we switch.
• Jonathan will have 1 (uninterrupted) minute to answer the question.
• Richard will get 1 sentence to restate the gist of Jonathan’s answer.
• The Moderator asks Jonathan if Richard got it at least 80% right.  If so…
• Both panelists have a 5-minute free debate — which might look more like a two-way conversation, or like more a moderated dialog, depending on how it shapes up.

We want to bring all the information together, so we conclude by giving each advocate a 2-minute closing statement.

We want to see how views have changed (if at all), so we take a final poll. 

*This section, Richard’s account of early Christian origins, is the part that got dropped, due to miscommunication.

Moderating and Humanizing

Two features of the debate are not apparent from the outline. 

The moderator sometimes takes an active role in getting the advocates to come to terms with each others’ questions or arguments. 

We put some work into humanizing everyone involved, for example with personal details in bios. The human touch helps set a tone of collaboration. 


Other “Jesus” Pages
Several posts on this blog flesh out my take on Jesus as a historical figure. See my blog posts on Jesus. 

Other “Honest Debate” Pages

These are the other posts I've made about this debate format.

Honest Debate: Christianity Good and Bad: Good example of the format working right, with me as Moderator. Link to video. 2016. 

Agreeing How to Disagree: Theory behind the practice, with reading list. 2014.



Evidence Can Bring Us Together

At Seattle's March for Science, I said that evidence can bring us together, and I think that's true with history as well. Here are some great resources, assembled by a Daniel N. Gullotta, a Ph.D. Student in Religious Studies (Christianity) at Stanford.

Dale Martin at Yale Universityhttp://oyc.yale.edu/religious-studies/rlst-152

Philip Harland of the University of Toronto's podcast on ancient religion in the Mediterranean world:
http://www.philipharland.com/Blog/religions-of-the-ancient-mediterannean-podcast-collection-page-series-1-6/

Stanford's Continuing Studies podcast has a good one with Thomas Sheehan:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/itunes-u/historical-jesus/id384233911?mt=10

Mark Goodacre of Duke University's the NT Pod:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/itunes-u/nt-pod/id420553592?mt=10

Bart D. Ehrman of UNC Chapel Hill has his great course on the Historical Jesus:
https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/the-historical-jesus

HDX's "The Letters of Paul" taught by Laura Nasrallah, who is based at Harvard University:
https://www.edx.org/course/early-christianity-letters-paul-harvardx-hds1544-1x

And finally, if you want to watch a documentary on the historical Jesus with the world's best scholars, the best one, with no pandering and no sensationalism is From Jesus to Christ: The First Christians from PBS. 
Part 1: https://youtu.be/kZPKCDOeyMg
Part 2: https://youtu.be/NB1WXhoEA0o
Part 3: https://youtu.be/S0pfQ2ZBe2Q
Part 4: https://youtu.be/-_jY2E8I_mA

Speech at March for Science Seattle

Here’s the 4-minute speech I gave at the March for Science in Seattle, Earth Day 2017, April 22. That’s Karen up on stage with me, wearing a coral reef on her head. It was an honor to speak and a joy to march.

My topic is how evidence can unite us all. My book, Grandmother Fish, gives children evidence for evolution when they wiggle like a fish and hoot like an ape. Kids love learning that humans are part of the great family of animals. Evidence also says that humans are all one family, as Charles Darwin concluded. Evidence can unite the human family because it allows people to share ideas across cultural boundaries.

“Can you wiggle?”

Karen and I are available for artist and author visits, either together or independently. Contact us here: http://www.grandmotherfish.com/contact/

For what it’s worth, here are the notes I used when giving the speech.

evidence together
grandmother fish
earliest fish with jaws
over 400 Mya
200 million greats
3 years
evidence
Grandmother Fish
evidence for little kids
wiggle like a fish—earliest fish
crawl & breathe early reptiles
squeak & cuddle early mammals
grab & hoot early apes
walk & talk early humans
kids love: animals, family, animal family
“I am a HUUMAN”
family of life
humanity one big family
Charles Darwin knew—evidence
evidence says: all related
evidence bring us together
Chinese translation of Grandmother Fish—language, culture, political system, economic system
Not like me: English, Seattle, Mary Oliver, Unitarian
everyone’s story
we are all related
a vision of who were are that we can all share

Games for Humanist Families

Clades, Chicken Cha Cha Cha, 
Cheeky Monkey, King of New York, Dixit

The games pictured here are the ones I took to the first meeting of the “humanist family game club” at my Unitarian church. The idea behind the game club is to give humanist families a fun way to hang out together. As a game designer and a father, I have spent years thinking about games that are great to play with kids and grownups together. Here are my descriptions of these games, which I recommend for humanist families.

Dixit by Jean-Louis Roubira

This charming game involves looking carefully at the detailed, dreamlike, full-color images on the game cards, so it has plenty of appeal from the start. One player gives a clue about a card they secretly chose from their hand. Then each other player secretly chooses a card from their own hands that more or less matches the clue. These cards get turned up, and only the clue-giver knows which one is the “real” card. Everyone tries to guess which card is the clue-giver’s, and players all score points based on how the guesses turned out. The real trick is that the clue-giver gets points only if at least one player successfully guesses the card and at least one player fails to guess their card. If the clue is too clear or too vague, the clue-giver loses the round. Kids have a hard time hitting the right balance between clarity and opacity, so they can struggle as the clue-giver. Little kids do well on a “team” with a grownup. Most of the game, however, is guessing others’ cards, and little kids can have fun doing that. Playing Dixit, whether giving a clue or trying to follow one, is a sophisticated use of our ability to communicate. For kids, it’s an enjoyable way to practice thinking “what did they mean by what they said that?” As for its humanist qualities, Dixit is all about understanding other people’s stories—and often misunderstanding them.

King of New York by Richard Garfield

This action-oriented game is the only violent game on this list, and it’s the most rules heavy. I recommend it because it handles battles in a way that is smart for play balance and good for avoiding hurt feelings. It’s true that the players control monsters that fight over who is the “king of New York”, but the system works such that you never choose which player you attack. Everyone attacks the monster that’s in Manhattan, except for the monster in Manhattan, who attacks everyone else. Play is straightforward: you roll a bunch of special dice, and reroll any dice whose results you don’t like. After up to two rerolls, you use the final results to determine how your monster fights other monsters, heals its wounds, smashes buildings, fights the military, gains energy for special powers, or gains fame. Kids who don’t really know the game can play by feel, and even if they don’t win their monsters will smash buildings, fight other monsters, and step on tanks like the big kids’ monsters do. Educational bit: The map shows the five boroughs of New York so you can show them to kids. One downside: A monster can sometimes get knocked out of the fight and the player out of the game. Usually, however, a player wins by amassing 20 fame points, not by defeating all the other monsters. 

Cheeky Monkey by Reiner Knizia

In this simple but engaging game, players pull animal tokens out of a bag. You can stop after taking a few tokens, or you can take more, but if you pull an animal that duplicates one you’ve already pulled this turn, all the animals you pulled this turn go back in the bag. A press-your-luck mechanic like this is great for kids because they can make real tactical decisions by feel, deciding whether to play it safe or to take risks and living with the consequences. If you have to put all those tokens back in the bag, it’s because you pulled one too many tokens, not because another player messed with you. A few additional rules involve stealing tokens, allowing for player interaction. In addition to being a fun game, Cheeky Monkey features hyenas, walruses, and other distinctive animals from around the world, with science notes about their habits and habitats. 

Chicken Cha Cha Cha by Klaus Zoch

In this German game, you move your chicken around a track, using concentration-style memory play to control movement. Kids are famously good at memory tasks, so it’s a great multigenerational game. The pictures are fun and colorful, mostly animals and eggs. The game includes an aggressive element in that you are trying to steal the tail feathers of all the other chickens, but the circular track prevents players from simply picking on whichever other player they like. Most of the action is memory play and moving around the track. 

Clades and Clades: Prehistoric by Yours Truly

In addition to teaching kids about evolution, Clades has a lot going for it as a game for kids and grownups. Physically, the game involves looking at lots of cute pictures of animals, something that even little kids enjoy. Everyone plays all the time, so kids never have to wait their turn. It’s easy to make the game simpler for beginners, and it’s easy to handicap. Plus, of course, it’s about evolution and science. A middle school science teacher I know says that the game elicits deep questions from students. Clades: Prehistoric is the same game, but with dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and other extinct animals. Order here from Atlas Games or ask for it from you friendly local game store.

Clades, the Evolutionary Card Game

Why Games for Humanist Families?

Games are great ways to let kids see humanism in action. For one thing, we humanists turn to other humans for our meaning in life, not to a spirit or an afterlife. Your experience playing a game results from a live interaction shared with other people and with no fore-ordained conclusion. That’s a genuine interaction in a way that seeing a movie together is not. Engaging with other humans for an evening also sends the implicit message that human relationships are worth investing in, a message that adults pick up as well as children. Second, playing games is good for social development. On one level, it teaches basics such as fairness and being a good sport. On a more fundamental level, games teach children to see human interaction as a social construct. Society is like a game, with rules, penalties, winners, and losers. We agree to interact with each other by the rules, but ultimately the rules are up to us, and we can change them to make things better. For example, if we play a game “fairly” and by the rules, some people have built-in advantages that give them an outsize chance of winning. Older kids, for example, do better at Dixit than younger ones. Is that fair? If not, can we change the rules to make the game more even? Whatever the answer, that’s good humanist thinking. 

Kids’ Games and Clades: earlier post on noncommercial games for kids 

2016

Geek Guys: Dress Up

At Emerald City Comic Con

Next weekend here in Seattle is PAX, the Pacific Northwest’s biggest game convention. Then on October comes Geek Girl Con. My message today is to the straight* guys out there who are going to attend these conventions or other conventions like them. You should dress up. It’s not hard.

When I was a teenage gamer, the idea of dressing up in fantasy clothes was ridiculous. It seemed childish, the sort of thing that even we geeks would criticize as being too geeky. We knew a college guy who played a 21st-level illusionist and who wore a cape to the game. A cape? We rolled our eyes. That’s the conformist 20th century for you. Luckily, modern society is getting over that narrow-minded disdain for costuming, especially in fandom. Costuming has really expanded in the last 10 to 20 years, and it’s a welcome addition to fan culture. Not only does it make conventions more fun, it especially makes the community more female-friendly. That’s an important improvement for a community that sometimes resembles a boys’ club. That’s why my message is for the straight* guys out there.

Dress up.

It doesn’t take much to be better dressed than the average geek guy at a con. Wear a funny hat. Wear a pirate shirt. A T-shirt with fannish joke on it might not be the best way to dress for a con, but if the shirt is clean and so are you, it’s a start. As for me, I’m not the sort to spend any serious time on a costume, so I’m likely to throw on a lab coat. In a lab coat plus a menacing glare, I'm a mad scientist. It’s not much, but that’s my point. It doesn’t take much to participate.

Wearing a costume shows that you’re the right sort of person.

• You put some thought into your appearance. 
• You like fun.
• You’re creative.
• You support costume culture. 
• You’re not a grumpy geek who takes himself too seriously to wear a costume. 

By dressing up, even a little, you help improve fan culture and make it more woman-friendly. Do your part. The bar is set pretty low, so no excuses. 

- - -

* “straight”: In this post, I specify that my advice is for straight geeks. That’s because I have no standing to tell gay men to dress up. Only on a rare, good day do I dress and groom well enough for gay men to mistake me for gay. Male hetero geeks might be the only population to whom I could give any sort of advice about dressing up.

2016

Description of first PNW gathering

Oasis Coming to Seattle

Oasis is a secular community that started in Houston, spread to Kansas City, and is now opening chapters across the US. Founders from Houston and Kansas City came to the Pacific Northwest to support locals who are interested in opening a chapter here, and I was curious enough to attend the first gathering. A group of mostly ex-Mormons, connected over the Internet, is providing the core of interested people bringing Oasis here. It’s similar to Sunday Assembly, although with weekly gatherings, less singing, and better childcare. Overall, I liked what I saw, and I recommend folks check it out. 

Oasis meets weekly, which is great if it works. Folks are not expected to attend every week, but they’ll still probably attend more often than folks attend Sunday Assembly, which meets monthly. In terms of building community, the more you meet, the better. 

Music at Oasis is provided by musical guests for attendees to listen to, as opposed to the group singing that typifies churches, Sunday Assembly, and all manner of communal gatherings back to our primordial history. Lots of secular people feel weird singing in groups, so for them Oasis is going to be more comfortable. As for me, I’m not much of a spectator, so listening to someone perform isn’t as compelling as singing in a group. I can’t really sing, but I don’t let that stop me. By not singing together, modern people are turning their backs on our universal heritage, but that’s a whole other story. 

Oasis offers childcare, although it doesn’t yet have a curriculum or formal program. They’re already ahead of the game if they provide a casual program where secular kids have fun together while their parents do something more adult. They also have their ducks in row as far as background checks and other security precautions you need when dealing with children. Kids’ programming, or at least childcare, is something that most secular groups leave out, and usually you have to go to a church to find an intergenerational community. (That’s what I do. I’m a Unitarian.) For me part of being a feminist is supporting parents and families. If a program offers no options for kids, that’s a burden for both men and women, but mostly for women. 

Like Sunday Assembly, Oasis features informative and personal talks as well as music. Talking and listening to talks is one activity that secular people have nailed. In fact, if even listening to songs is too churchy for you, the Seattle Atheist Church offers a program that’s all talk. As for Oasis, I’m happy to report that their policy is not to take their gatherings as an opportunity to carp about religion. There’s more than enough negativity in the atheist community already.

Oasis also features social events. In fact, in Kansas City the atheist group there is devoted to activism, leaving Oasis as the default place for organizing secular get-togethers and service projects. Some participants skip the services and just participate in the social and service programs. Here in Seattle, the social angle is already well covered. Seattle Atheists has a huge array of get-togethers and a few regular service projects, Sunday Assembly offers a parallel track of get-togethers, and smaller secular groups provide more options for social gatherings. Seattle Atheists has a book club, Sunday Assembly has a book club, and Oasis will probably have a book club. Seattle Atheists has game nights, so does Sunday Assembly, and I bet Oasis will, too. It sure would be great if there were an easy way for someone to see all the social options there are out there for secular people in the Seattle area.

A big question is where the gender ratio will end up at communities like Oasis. Atheists are mostly men, and church appeals disproportionately to women. So where does that leave “atheist churches”? We’ll see. Given how hostile the atheist community can be for women, I'm sure that these groups focusing on community will do better than atheist forums on the Internet. 

The information meeting was in Tacoma, but the first chapter might open in Seattle, where the largest number of interested people were from. The group is organizing a launch team to prepare for a launch in June. If you’re interested in getting involved, the Meetup group is a great place to start [http://www.meetup.com/Seattle-Oasis-Secular-Community/], and you can contact organizers there.

Am I a Fake Atheist?

Atheists often say Jesus was a myth.

Occasionally, some of my fellow atheists accuse me of being fake. Sometimes they say I’m a Christian going undercover and trying to undermine atheism from within. To one guy, I’m a wannabe Christian, which at least is a little more imaginative. Or I’m a fake atheist, whatever that means. It feels weird to have someone from the tribe declare me an outcast, but I try not to take it personally. It’s just what I deserve for flouting tribal boundaries. 

Online and at atheist gatherings, I’m likely to challenge atheists when their criticisms of religion are unfair. For example, saying that there’s no evidence for a historical Jesus is a flat-out error. Identifying religion with mental illness is another popular misconception. It’s natural to be unfair to the “enemy camp,” so errors like these are common. In terms of tribal politics, my criticizing a fellow atheist’s attack on religion is tantamount to treason. It’s just the sort of thing that gets you cast out of the tribe. But I’m not really defending the “enemy.” It’s not religion that I’m trying to protect. I'm trying to protect atheism—our secular community, such that it is. Humans in any group are prone to think negatively and speak unfairly about “enemy” groups. In fact, people generally love to hate the “other,” as everyone generating propaganda knows. Atheists are no different. The humanity we share with the believers makes us more like them than different from them. It’s no surprise to see us atheists engaging in the same simplistic, us-versus-them rhetoric that we accuse believers of indulging in. 

So does that mean I’m wasting my time, fighting human nature like this? Sometimes it feels like I am. But it’s not healthy to build a community around negativity, and I have reasons to hope that atheism can lose some of this bias. Why should I hope? 

• We atheists pride ourselves on being evidence-driven. Even though this principle is often neglected, it’s still an ideal that I can appeal to. We atheists humbly acknowledge that our evolved minds sometimes trick us into seeing things that aren’t there and believing things that aren’t true. 
• Young atheists from secular homes don’t necessarily have the same chips on their shoulders that so many of us older atheists do. 
• A number of atheist writers, such as Alain de Botton, have pointed out that there’s more to religion than oppression. 
• As for human nature, if it is our nature to be tribalistic, it is also our nature to be adaptable. Western civilization has made great progress in terms of self-awareness and broad-mindedness. 

All these factors give me hope, and I’ll keep expecting reasonableness from my fellow atheists. At least until they take my atheist card away and kick me out of the tribe for real. 

More Posts About Atheism

Sex Ed at Church

Comprehensive sex ed, with or without God

Every year, middle school kids across the US participate in a program of private sex education classes that cover the topic frankly, comprehensively, and graphically. It’s liberal in general and LGBTQ-friendly in particular. Each class is led by one man and one woman, and an honor code of confidentiality helps the young people feel safe opening up on this touchy topic. The program puts special emphasis on values, not to enforce any particular moral code but to help the participants explore and develop their own values. The classes don’t just convey information. They foster a culture of respect and openness, allowing the students to ask the personal questions they have and to the learn from each other. This curriculum, called Our Whole Lives, is used in the UU and UCC churches, and it’s a good example of what I mean when I say that religion is better thought of as a social institution than as a belief. Those of us at UU or UCC churches might believe that kids should have good sex ed classes, but what counts is that people before us have put this program together for us to use. It’s the institution that makes it happen. In this case, the institution is the sort of sex ed program that you can’t find just anywhere. 

Fostering community

The Our Whole Lives program is a fine example of intentionally fostering a mini-community. The participants promise each other confidentiality, and the adult leaders create a safe space where young people can discuss sensitive topics about sex, romance, love and other adolescent minefields. When my daughter started this program years ago, it was the first year she didn’t complain about going to church school on Sunday morning. The program created a group that she wanted to be part of. We atheists are individualistic by reflex, but some experiences develop only in the context of an intentional community.

Volunteerism

One feature of a religious community is that it elicits volunteer work from members. Lots of nonprofit organizations, such as Girl Scouts, also rely on volunteer efforts. The Our Whole Lives class is taught by two adult volunteers, one male and one female. These instructors see young people respond positively to the program, and that experience hooks them and gets them to keep volunteering. While I’ve never led OWL, teaching Sunday school and mentoring young people has given me some of the same fulfillment. Some of the value that a church structure brings to a community is simply the infrastructure to recruit, prepare, and coordinate volunteers. 

Multigenerational community

Richard Haynes is a leader in the atheist community and a former Christian minister. He sees two sorts of atheist groups in the States: older atheists with money but no time, and younger atheists with time but no money. As he points out, churches bring the generations together like few other institutions do. OWL is a classic case of elders passing down secrets to the youth, and a band of young initiates growing closer together by sharing emotionally powerful experiences. In ancient initiations, elders taught secrets to the youth. In OWL, elders create a safe space for the youth to share their own secrets with each other. Reflecting the intergenerational nature of church, Unitarians are sometimes called “atheists with kids.” That description certainly holds for my family. 

On our own

The closest thing I have to a holy book is The Collected Poems of Wallace Stevens. In verse, Wallace explores what it means to be human now that we have found out that the gods don’t exist. In “Sunday Morning,” he describes us as “unsponsored, free.” And that describes the freedom we Unitarians have in figuring out how to run our congregations. No deity is sponsoring us. We’re not responsible to any external party for how we initiate our children into adulthood. No human generation before us has ever had to navigate a sexual landscape like today’s, with more options, fewer prohibitions, and effective birth control. Our Whole Lives lays it all out there to help young people find their way. 

Bigger than yourself

Jonathan Haidt examines morality from an evolutionary perspective. He says that people are mostly selfish, but we’re also a little “groupish.” Being part of a group comes naturally to us, just like looking out for “number one” comes naturally. It’s common for people to say that they gain fulfillment by devoting themselves to something that’s bigger than themselves. Ultimately, perhaps this tendency arises from the primeval instinct to feel as though one is part of a family, clan, or tribe. 

OWL participants create a mini-community, which is bigger than they are individually. I can see the results myself. This year I’m mentoring a 9th grader, and I can see how close-knit the 9th graders are. I worked with these same students two years ago, and they are much better connected now.

Atheists in OWL

Of the kids I’ve seen go through OWL, I mostly don’t know which ones are atheists and which are believers. Maybe lots of them don’t know themselves. That’s my congregation for you. Is OWL a “religious” program? People who define religion as a belief would say that it’s religious for the believer kids but not for the atheists. I pay more attention to behavior than to beliefs, so I’d say it’s religious for all of them, believers and atheists alike.

Institutions Get Work Done

Lots of people believe that adolescents should get frank information about sex and help sorting their way through romance, emotions, love, and the rest. On some level, I’ve always agreed with that idea, but that belief by itself doesn’t go very far. What worked for me is being connected to a congregation. OWL is a social institution, one that coordinates activity around a modern sex ed program. It’s institutions that makes things happen. A secular organization could readily duplicate what OWL accomplishes, but only by creating a duplicate institution. 

OWL and your kids

If you’re a parent curious about OWL for your kids, you can look up a Unitarian congregation near you. Unitarians have no creed or doctrine, so each congregation has its own style. Some have a pagan flavor, some are basically humanist (like mine), and in others a sort of deistic God is popular. Some congregations call themselves fellowships rather than churches to announce their distance from your typical church. I prefer the term church because I don’t like to be divisive, but that’s just me.

----

Rites of Passage: the OWL program is intense enough to qualify as a "rite of passage."